Ask E. Jean: The Guy I’m Dating Is Very Insecure

Life & Love

Dear E. Jean: What do you do about a guy who constantly uses the phrase “Why are we even together?” as a means to end a discussion? He said “I love you” after a month of dating but still dangles our budding relationship over the trash whenever he becomes frustrated. Is there a way to make this stop?—What the F Is Going On?

F, My Friend: He wants you to answer, “We’re together because I can’t go on living without you, and because you are a god among men.” When you get bored of saying that, and if he can’t make an effort to hold a real conversation, you should respond, “We’re not.” And accept his invitation to go.

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2019. Send questions to E. Jean at

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